Shaw/Obrien Wedding

Title: Homily for Shaw/O'Brien Wedding

Date: June 20, 1987

Readings: Genesis 2:18-24 / Psalm 103:1-2,8,13,17-18a / 1 John 4:7-12 / Matthew 5:1-12

Psychologists, sociologists, and anthropologists are all agreed: human beings are the loneliest creatures in the world. Well, we did not have to wait for the modern era to learn that. Even in the most ancient of the Scriptures, man found himself dealing with his most deep aloneness. God was not so distant that he left man alone to his solitary life, either. Our first reading has God observing, "It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate." The wonder of this creation was that while this companion would share a common humanity, there would forever be a difference between them. In the eyes of God they would be equal in dignity but not exactly the same. There would be a complementarity about them, but man would remain man, and woman, as woman. Ironically, it would be the difference in them as persons that would make possible the greatest of unions, the act by which a man and woman reach out through the coldness of their solitude to the warmness of their intimacy -- becoming one flesh.

So great would be this natural relationship of marriage, that with the coming of the new covenant, Christ would elevate it to the level of a sacrament, revealing just how close he was to his bride, the Church. Forever and always, Christ would love and be faithful to us. Forever and always, must a husband and wife be faithful to each other.

We all have friends, but a spouse is one's best friend. We all have loves, but a spouse must be one's first love. Even Jesus does not compete with marital love. To the extent that a husband and wife love each other, they love Christ. That is why for the Christian such things as failed marriages create such hurt and scandal.

The challenge for us all is to reflect Christ's love in our lives. For spouses, this must first begin at home. There is much we could learn from our readings today on this. Like God, we too are called to be kind and merciful. Like God, a married couple need to be just to each other and to their offspring. John in our second reading goes on to say that, "... as long as we love one another God will live in us and his love will be complete in us." That is the secret, in everything they do, they must show God's love. Live for one another -- be poor in spirit; treat this union with reverence -- be gentle; act justly -- hunger for what is right; forgive each other -- you'll have mercy shown you; be virtuous -- rejoice in purity of heart; make peace at home -- maybe then we can extend it elsewhere.

Be totally imbued with the Beatitudes. Make them second nature. Pray for and with each other. There are many things which lead people astray or make them cold or callous; keep your sights on each other. Be happy with your values and encourage one another in living the holy life.

You both have from this day forward one special helpmate, not just to share a life with or with whom to raise a family, but a special companion to aid you in the growth of holiness. Just think, sanctity and peace may be the greatest gift you ever give each other -- a gift which can extend throughout this life and into the next -- a gift which can touch numerous lives, giving sanctifying life to both the children whom you are open to receiving and to all those whom you meet. It is a holy vocation of love which you are choosing.

May you both always grow in the love which you ratify today. May you always be happy.